Post by uncaged on Aug 29, 2010 9:34:20 GMT
NEWSFLASH
A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit Middlesbrough in the early hours of Thursday August 28th 2010. The epicentre was the Grove Hill estate.
Casualties were seen wandering about aimlessly saying things like ' bang out of order’, 'mental' and 'that did my head in'. The earthquake decimated large parts of the area causing damage in excess of £17.50.
Several priceless collections and mementoes from Benidorm and Ibiza were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were disturbed and many people were woke up before their giro's arrived.
The evening gazette has reported that hundreds of residents were left confused and bewildered. They are still coming to terms that the damage was done by something other than themselves.
One resident Tracy Sharon Smith , a 15 year old mother of four said "it was such a shock that little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the cardboard door in my bedroom crying although my youngest two, Tyler-Brooklyn and Ki-Keanu slept through it all. My hands were still shaking so much that I couldn’t shoot up whilst I was watching the Jeremy Kyle show this morning."
Another local resident known as 'mally' said that he hoped the earthquake wouldn’t stop him from working because twocking, arson, burglaries and graffiti would not do themselves.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of sunny delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from PoundStretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However they were unable to save some furniture from Crazy Georges.
HOW CAN YOU HELP??
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is much sought after. Most needed are 'KAPPA' tracksuits or other shell suits - his or hers. White socks to tuck the tracksuits into, REEBOK CLASSICS, BURBERRY hats, and PRIMARK clothing are most welcome. Food parcels should include McCain oven chips, parmo's, cheese pasties, sausage rolls, pot noodles, Aldi beans, any sort of pie, monster munch crisps, Nutella chocolate spread and Iceland pizzas.
Alcohol is in short supply, mainly 'white lightning cider' and Carlsberg Special Brew. Methylated spirit would not be turned down.
CASH DONATIONS are also needed, 22p buys a bic biro for signing on purposes, £1.50p buys cheese and chips and £32 will buy 200 Regal from 'TOMMO' who has just come back from a ‘baccie’ run.
All offers of help and donations will be gratefully received and with no thanks
A major earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale hit Middlesbrough in the early hours of Thursday August 28th 2010. The epicentre was the Grove Hill estate.
Casualties were seen wandering about aimlessly saying things like ' bang out of order’, 'mental' and 'that did my head in'. The earthquake decimated large parts of the area causing damage in excess of £17.50.
Several priceless collections and mementoes from Benidorm and Ibiza were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were disturbed and many people were woke up before their giro's arrived.
The evening gazette has reported that hundreds of residents were left confused and bewildered. They are still coming to terms that the damage was done by something other than themselves.
One resident Tracy Sharon Smith , a 15 year old mother of four said "it was such a shock that little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the cardboard door in my bedroom crying although my youngest two, Tyler-Brooklyn and Ki-Keanu slept through it all. My hands were still shaking so much that I couldn’t shoot up whilst I was watching the Jeremy Kyle show this morning."
Another local resident known as 'mally' said that he hoped the earthquake wouldn’t stop him from working because twocking, arson, burglaries and graffiti would not do themselves.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of sunny delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from PoundStretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However they were unable to save some furniture from Crazy Georges.
HOW CAN YOU HELP??
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is much sought after. Most needed are 'KAPPA' tracksuits or other shell suits - his or hers. White socks to tuck the tracksuits into, REEBOK CLASSICS, BURBERRY hats, and PRIMARK clothing are most welcome. Food parcels should include McCain oven chips, parmo's, cheese pasties, sausage rolls, pot noodles, Aldi beans, any sort of pie, monster munch crisps, Nutella chocolate spread and Iceland pizzas.
Alcohol is in short supply, mainly 'white lightning cider' and Carlsberg Special Brew. Methylated spirit would not be turned down.
CASH DONATIONS are also needed, 22p buys a bic biro for signing on purposes, £1.50p buys cheese and chips and £32 will buy 200 Regal from 'TOMMO' who has just come back from a ‘baccie’ run.
All offers of help and donations will be gratefully received and with no thanks
and a shell suit lol