Post by greenman on Jul 8, 2012 22:35:47 GMT
Middlesbro Earthquake appeal!
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the late hours of yesterday, with the epicentre in the boro. Victims were seen wandering... around aimlessly muttering, “F**kin ell” and “Whadda c**t”.
The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the south bank Appreciation Society and the pally park golf hut were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their benifit cheques arrived. One resident – Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said “It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgaan and Meeghan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jeremy kyle the next morning”.
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.
The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of kebabs and 70,000 bottles of Home Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, Collingwood jerseys, Jewellery from Poundland and bone china from poundstretcher
HOW YOU CAN HELP
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Items most needed include: baseball caps, flannelette shirts, and tracksuits.white trainers
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include, , McDonalds, KFC, ice cream and cans of cider or Bacardi Breezers.
If you would prefer to donate money, 25p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms; £5.00 buys chips, battered fish, crisps and fizzy drinks for a family of 9; £10.00 will pay for a packet of fags and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
PLEASE do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighbouring areas.
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the late hours of yesterday, with the epicentre in the boro. Victims were seen wandering... around aimlessly muttering, “F**kin ell” and “Whadda c**t”.
The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the south bank Appreciation Society and the pally park golf hut were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their benifit cheques arrived. One resident – Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said “It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgaan and Meeghan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jeremy kyle the next morning”.
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.
The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of kebabs and 70,000 bottles of Home Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, Collingwood jerseys, Jewellery from Poundland and bone china from poundstretcher
HOW YOU CAN HELP
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Items most needed include: baseball caps, flannelette shirts, and tracksuits.white trainers
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include, , McDonalds, KFC, ice cream and cans of cider or Bacardi Breezers.
If you would prefer to donate money, 25p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms; £5.00 buys chips, battered fish, crisps and fizzy drinks for a family of 9; £10.00 will pay for a packet of fags and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
PLEASE do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighbouring areas.
