Post by Retired rigworker on Sept 22, 2012 12:33:15 GMT
I fitted strobe lights in the bedroom.
They're brilliant.
It makes the wife look like she's actually moving during sex...
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Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
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I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you are sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
--------------------------------------------------------I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider, never knew what f******g hit it.
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A COWBOY’s TOMBSTONE:
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
They're brilliant.
It makes the wife look like she's actually moving during sex...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you are sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
--------------------------------------------------------I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider, never knew what f******g hit it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A COWBOY’s TOMBSTONE:
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.