Post by johndc on Sept 5, 2013 19:49:31 GMT
A Dane and an Australian are sat in a pub in Melbourne, around 1 pm. "I'll have a Carlsberg", says the Dane when the waiter comes to their table. "I'll have a Carlsberg too", says the Australian. The Dane looks at him astonished and asks why he doesn't have a Foster's.
"It's a bit too early to be drinking beer, mate", the Australian replies.
A polar bear walks into a bar and says can I have a gin .......................
........
...........and tonic please
Barman says why the big pause
Because I'm a polar bear
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar
The barman says is this some sort of a joke !
Guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm, the barman says 'You can get that out straightway' The guy says hold on, it does tricks i'll show you...
He puts the crocodile on a table opens its mouth and puts his dick in. He then pulls out a piece of wood from his back pocket and whacks the crocodile on the back of the head with it! The crocodile wheezes and clamps his jaws down shut but somehow does no damage to his Nob. The barman says thats amazing and the guy says yeah i Know would anybody else in the pub like to try it for £50?... and a little old lady comes over and says yeah i'll have a go..... but don't hit me on the head as hard as you hit that fkin crocodile!
Bernard Manning R.I.P
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a toad on his head. ‘What the hell is that?’ asks the barman. The toad replies, ‘I don’t know – it started as a wart on my arse and grew.'
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the barman for a beer. ‘I can’t serve you,’ says the barman. ‘You’re bard!’
This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets a free beer? The bartender says alright. So the man puts a hamster and two frogs on the bar and all of a sudden the two frogs jump up and start into a Broadway medley. Well, a man at the end of the bar said, "That's amazing, I'll give you $1,000 for the frogs." The man agreed the guy took off. The bartender said to him, "You could have gotten more for the frogs." The man said, "Frogs are easy to come by, the hamster's a ventriloquist."
Woman walks into a cocktail bar and peruses the drinks list then asks for a 'double entendre'... so the barman gave her one.
Two hookers, a nun and a donkey walk into a bar........
i cant remember the rest - but it was the best porno movie i ever saw.
two blondes walk into a bar.... you'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it.... ouch..
(all stolen from another forum)
"It's a bit too early to be drinking beer, mate", the Australian replies.
A polar bear walks into a bar and says can I have a gin .......................
........
...........and tonic please
Barman says why the big pause
Because I'm a polar bear
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar
The barman says is this some sort of a joke !
Guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm, the barman says 'You can get that out straightway' The guy says hold on, it does tricks i'll show you...
He puts the crocodile on a table opens its mouth and puts his dick in. He then pulls out a piece of wood from his back pocket and whacks the crocodile on the back of the head with it! The crocodile wheezes and clamps his jaws down shut but somehow does no damage to his Nob. The barman says thats amazing and the guy says yeah i Know would anybody else in the pub like to try it for £50?... and a little old lady comes over and says yeah i'll have a go..... but don't hit me on the head as hard as you hit that fkin crocodile!
Bernard Manning R.I.P
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a toad on his head. ‘What the hell is that?’ asks the barman. The toad replies, ‘I don’t know – it started as a wart on my arse and grew.'
Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the barman for a beer. ‘I can’t serve you,’ says the barman. ‘You’re bard!’
This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets a free beer? The bartender says alright. So the man puts a hamster and two frogs on the bar and all of a sudden the two frogs jump up and start into a Broadway medley. Well, a man at the end of the bar said, "That's amazing, I'll give you $1,000 for the frogs." The man agreed the guy took off. The bartender said to him, "You could have gotten more for the frogs." The man said, "Frogs are easy to come by, the hamster's a ventriloquist."
Woman walks into a cocktail bar and peruses the drinks list then asks for a 'double entendre'... so the barman gave her one.
Two hookers, a nun and a donkey walk into a bar........
i cant remember the rest - but it was the best porno movie i ever saw.
two blondes walk into a bar.... you'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it.... ouch..
(all stolen from another forum)