Post by johndc on Nov 4, 2013 15:19:44 GMT
Two guys get off their bikes outside a remote pub in North Yorkshire. They walk into the bar, which has a couple of crusty old locals nursing half-pints, and a parrot perched on the beer pumps.
The first guy walks up to the bar, with a nod to the locals... "Does the parrot serve the beer then?"
The parrot looks at him and squawks loudly "Customer waiting Jim-lad!"
The landlord appears, with a wooden leg, an eye-patch and a hook. "What you be 'avin lads?"
"Two pints please" says the biker. "How did you get the wooden leg?"
"I'm a retired pirate lad", says the landlord, pulling the pints. ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."
The biker paid for the pints and went to sit with his mate. The landlord came over for a chat and they asked him how he got the hook.
"Well," replied the landlord, "while me and the boys were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."
"So how about the eye-patch?" asked the second biker.
"Damned seagull shat in my eye lad!" said the landlord.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the biker asked incredulously
"Well, lad" said the landlord, looking sheepish "'T'was my first day with the hook, see!"
The first guy walks up to the bar, with a nod to the locals... "Does the parrot serve the beer then?"
The parrot looks at him and squawks loudly "Customer waiting Jim-lad!"
The landlord appears, with a wooden leg, an eye-patch and a hook. "What you be 'avin lads?"
"Two pints please" says the biker. "How did you get the wooden leg?"
"I'm a retired pirate lad", says the landlord, pulling the pints. ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."
The biker paid for the pints and went to sit with his mate. The landlord came over for a chat and they asked him how he got the hook.
"Well," replied the landlord, "while me and the boys were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."
"So how about the eye-patch?" asked the second biker.
"Damned seagull shat in my eye lad!" said the landlord.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the biker asked incredulously
"Well, lad" said the landlord, looking sheepish "'T'was my first day with the hook, see!"