johndc
Superbike Rider
Posts: 2,613
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Post by johndc on Apr 18, 2014 6:16:03 GMT
 Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a policewoman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him. Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick." Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner." After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full! Dont blame me, I just copy and paste them 
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2014 8:18:00 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2014 20:03:53 GMT
Ha ha
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nickw
Superbike Rider
Posts: 3,404
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Post by nickw on Apr 18, 2014 20:05:25 GMT
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M-L-C
Supersport Rider
IOM 2015 - Booked/cancelled
Posts: 924 
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Post by M-L-C on Apr 18, 2014 20:52:46 GMT
Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a policewoman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him. Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick." Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner." After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full! Dont blame me, I just copy and paste them Very offensive John. I'm Irish and I really don't appreciate the stereotypical idiocy of Irish folk you people seem to enjoy so much. The Irish have contributed so much to YOUR way of life but you can't help ridicule us. Take a good look at yourselves and you may realise that it is YOU who should be the butt of 'stupid people' jokes. You should be ashamed of yourself. |
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johndc
Superbike Rider
Posts: 2,613
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Post by johndc on Apr 19, 2014 6:53:29 GMT
M-L-C Sorry if I have offended you, that was never the intention. (didn't think your prostitute joke was in good taste, but hey, each to their own). At the risk of upsetting the English on here (or even making them ), here are a few jokes about us to even the balance. They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- englishman, scotsman, irishman and welshman are on a plane. the plane is struggling,and the pilot says they need to loose some of the load. scotsman shouts 'this is for scotland',and jumps out the door. welshman shouts 'this is for wales' and jumps out the door. irishman shouts 'this is for ireland' and pushes the englishman out the door!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An Englishman rushed into a barber's shop with a pig under his arm. "Where did you get that?" asked the barber. "I won him in a raffle," said the pig. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two English businessmen in London - were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Scottish accent asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arseholes." Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said, "You are doing well. Only two left!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have a good weekend everyone, ride safe. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2014 7:30:30 GMT
Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a policewoman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him. Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick." Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner." After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full! Dont blame me, I just copy and paste them Very offensive John. I'm Irish and I really don't appreciate the stereotypical idiocy of Irish folk you people seem to enjoy so much. The Irish have contributed so much to YOUR way of life but you can't help ridicule us. Take a good look at yourselves and you may realise that it is YOU who should be the butt of 'stupid people' jokes. You should be ashamed of yourself. Get a grip MLC! Next you'll be crying racism.....man up! And like john said, the prositute joke was in poor taste too......and in case you forgot, here it is  if you don't like it, there are other forums available.....keep them coming John we love the paddy jokes! How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb in my cellar? Don't know, but at least 3………….. |
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nickw
Superbike Rider
Posts: 3,404
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Post by nickw on Apr 19, 2014 7:35:15 GMT
He's stitching you....  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2014 7:37:46 GMT
He's stitching you.... It wouldn't appear so Nick but just in case, I'm on Johns side of the fence |
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Post by Betty Swallox on Apr 19, 2014 7:39:30 GMT
My wife's Irish and to be honest I can't stand the woman.........bring on the jokes |
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nickw
Superbike Rider
Posts: 3,404
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Post by nickw on Apr 19, 2014 7:45:02 GMT
He's stitching you.... It wouldn't appear so Nick but just in case, I'm on Johns side of the fence Once you've met him you'll get his sense of humour and realise that he's stitching you.... He works in Wales. He travels to Warrington. Anybody who sees the world and travels at this level has an incredible sense of humour.Trust me, he loves the craic on here... |
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M-L-C
Supersport Rider
IOM 2015 - Booked/cancelled
Posts: 924
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Post by M-L-C on Apr 19, 2014 8:14:51 GMT
OH Bejeesus…!! Iwm only pulling yer legs begora. But oy did think de prossie joke was funny  Cup o tea? gowaan gowaan gowaan |
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Bigred
Kneedown Superstar
Posts: 448
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Post by Bigred on Apr 19, 2014 9:02:06 GMT
I don't believe he even has a cellar but if he has I am willing to sort out any electrical issues for a small fee |
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johndc
Superbike Rider
Posts: 2,613
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Post by johndc on Apr 19, 2014 10:28:56 GMT
He's stitching you.... Nick, not yet having met M-L-C, I do not know what ethnic persuasion he belongs to or wants to be part of!!! There is some funny f*ckers out there in cyber land If a little smiley or wink had appeared in his text, that might of given me a clue he was pulling my chain. As it is a "holy weekend", I thought I would be nice and "apologise" to his hurt feelings. Thank God we don't still have that smite button Anyway, if he has an issue with the craic, I will be waiting for him in the Claddaghs, and will lead him straight down to the "Ginger" where we can discuss it like men, over a pint or three of Guiness.  |
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nickw
Superbike Rider
Posts: 3,404
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Post by nickw on Apr 19, 2014 16:26:45 GMT
We've told him that you're 6'6" and hard as nails John.... He's now in a panic!
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M-L-C
Supersport Rider
IOM 2015 - Booked/cancelled
Posts: 924
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Post by M-L-C on Apr 19, 2014 16:29:02 GMT
He's stitching you.... Nick, not yet having met M-L-C, I do not know what ethnic persuasion he belongs to or wants to be part of!!! There is some funny f*ckers out there in cyber land If a little smiley or wink had appeared in his text, that might of given me a clue he was pulling my chain. As it is a "holy weekend", I thought I would be nice and "apologise" to his hurt feelings. Thank God we don't still have that smite button Anyway, if he has an issue with the craic, I will be waiting for him in the Claddaghs, and will lead him straight down to the "Ginger" where we can discuss it like men, over a pint or three of Guiness. Few pints would be nice John. Was a wee bit tipsy last night (Stella not Guiness) so apologies if the joke went down badly. twas a poor effort on my part.  |
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M-L-C
Supersport Rider
IOM 2015 - Booked/cancelled
Posts: 924
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Post by M-L-C on Apr 19, 2014 16:34:11 GMT
Very offensive John. I'm Irish and I really don't appreciate the stereotypical idiocy of Irish folk you people seem to enjoy so much. The Irish have contributed so much to YOUR way of life but you can't help ridicule us. Take a good look at yourselves and you may realise that it is YOU who should be the butt of 'stupid people' jokes. You should be ashamed of yourself. Get a grip MLC! Next you'll be crying racism.....man up! And like john said, the prositute joke was in poor taste too......and in case you forgot, here it is if you don't like it, there are other forums available.....keep them coming John we love the paddy jokes! I take it your not the tolerant type then Clint…? Sorry you thought my prostitute joke was in bad taste. I thought everyone on here would be man enough to take it. Enough to say I won't be yanking anyone else's chain on here (at least not until I get to know them) |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2014 21:55:48 GMT
Get a grip MLC! Next you'll be crying racism.....man up! And like john said, the prositute joke was in poor taste too......and in case you forgot, here it is if you don't like it, there are other forums available.....keep them coming John we love the paddy jokes! I take it your not the tolerant type then Clint…? Sorry you thought my prostitute joke was in bad taste. I thought everyone on here would be man enough to take it. Enough to say I won't be yanking anyone else's chain on here (at least not until I get to know them) Like John said, had there been a smiley or a wink to indicate it was a joke then all fine but maybe a bit too dry for my liking. Yep, we don't know each other, I am tolerant but speak my mind that's all. No harm done though and look forward to meeting sometime......for a Stella or two |
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if you don't like it, there are other forums available.....keep them coming John we love the paddy jokes!
