Post by johndc on Jun 15, 2017 10:50:41 GMT
The Mortuary
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
is 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector" says the Coroner.
"Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery, spent it
all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven..... which part of your body goes first?
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think its your hands."
"Why do you think its your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied,
"Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think its your legs".
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
Now Little Johnnie, why would you think it would be your legs?
Little Johnny said,"Well I walked into mommy and daddy's bedroom the other night..
Mommy had her legs in the air, and she was shouting,
"OH GOD, I'M COMING!". If dad hadn't pinned her down, I think we'd have lost her!"
THE NUN FAINTED!